Online Dating: Don’t lie about who you are, people will notice!

So, this was my first ever online meet-up experience. In this case, I did exchange pictures and talk to him over the phone. A bit about him: he claimed to have immigrated to Canada when he was 2 years old, was 5’11’’, fit, and successful at his job.

“…we met at a local coffee shop on a nice sunny summer day. When I got there, the only problem was that I did not recognize him.”

Well, we met at a local coffee shop on a nice sunny summer day. When I got there, the only problem was that I did not recognize him.

He did not look like his picture very much… Remember, he claimed to be 5’11’’ and fit, but the individual in front of me was shorter than me and had a huge gut (I’m 5’6’’ and was active/in great shape then). Like, his gut was bigger than my dad’s and he’s an uncle…though an active and fit uncle, but still. Well, me wanting to keep an open-mind and not be shallow, I proceeded to have a coffee with him.“Next time, you walk away. That’s just fraud!”

“Next time, you walk away. That’s just fraud!”

Later, my friend yelled at me for staying and continuing on with the meet-up. My friend insisted that I had the right to walk away and cite fraud as the causation – His advice included “Next time, you walk away. That’s just fraud!” Also, he encouraged me to follow “David Brent’s” [from The Office (UK)] advice and insist that someone provide a photograph of themselves holding today’s newspaper in order to maintain the accuracy of what they are trying to “sell” (Side Note: You can watch the first 10 seconds of this video via BBC on YouTube, if interested, below).

What can I say about the meeting? It wasn’t the greatest, but it wasn’t the worst. I didn’t probe him on his accent, though I should have, because that would have led to the gateway of lies he was trying to sell me. Side Note: I don’t care that he immigrated to Canada or when, what I did mind was his very clearly thick accent which indicated that he did not arrive at 2 years of age – It was the obvious lying that bothered me. I’m not a professional, but I am a scientist (technically) and know that studies show that if a child immigrates before/along the cusp of puberty, they do not have any “accent” other than the developed majority Canadian one. Anyway, I let that slide, because I thought he was being insecure and I was determined to get to know a person and the reason why they thought I’d judge (I am fascinated by human behaviour).

“…if someone can lie about the most obvious and mundane things … what else are they going to lie about?”

Since, it wasn’t the worst experience and I had a hard time letting guys down when I was younger, I did go on a second date. However, this time he failed to maintain basic respect or public etiquette. He kept fidgeting and playing with things on the table, like a child, then complained about me and proceeded to put me down. I did stand up for myself, but was confused because I was open to the expience and being kind. I was younger, now I realise that sometimes some people, especially men, get intimidated by me. I do not know why, but it’s fine and about them and not me. I maintain being respectful and a decent human.

After, he starts complaining about me – I did probe him and called him out on his alleged height. He was adamant that he was 5’11’’, but really, then why are you shorter then me? I was not wearing heels, ever.

In hindsight, it was a bit arrogant of him. It was as if he thought that he was so fabulous, that he would be able to knock me off of my feet with his stellar personality and charm. That I would instantly “fall in love” with him and conveniently overlook his obvious lies (you know, the minor details of his supposed height, weight, and looks).

In the end, if someone can lie about the most obvious and mundane things (ok, you can’t lie about your height, weight, and physicality…oh wait, according to the guy I met, you can!) what else are they going to lie about? Maybe he wanted immigration and tackling a Canadian was a fair way to do it for him – yeah, not going to work.

I’m not sure what happened to him, because I told him good riddance and never communicated with him again. I didn’t ghost him, I actually told him.

I was too open-minded and inexperienced when I was younger, to the point where I ignored the best thing to do – which is, walk away from any potential relationship once the red flags are out. Since then, I am far wiser and cut it off real quick – Learn from my non-sense mistakes, by all means – Stand up for yourself and trust your instincts – Do not let red-flags slide, ever! I can honestly say that this story helped a lot of my friends when they first started online dating. So, at least I have another interesting story to share, at my expense…but, I’ve come a long way, so it’s fine.

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Author: Sparkle

Recovering perfectionist encouraged to blog so I no longer over-think and try to produce the best-written items in the world. Just trying to write, even if it's not perfect. It will help me along my journey and might help another person too.

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